Hamburguesa con Queso Frita... Muy Frita

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Text-only version printed fromhttp://FXcuisine.com/default.asp?Display=129

Hemos llegado ya a los confines de la Dieta Escocesa y entrado en el Infierno Frito. Vosotros que aquí entráis, perded toda esperanza y contemplad esta nueva maravilla - la hamburguesa con queso frita.

La Dieta Escocesa es un ingenioso sistema inventado por los escoceses para mantener sus fondos de pensiones balanceados, reduciendo el número de personas que llegan a una edad mayor a los 60. Como muchos de los inventos más inteligentes del mundo (muchos de ellos inventados por los escoceses) es diabólicamente simple. Incrementa la cuenta de muertes prematuras mediante una dieta balanceada:

La Dieta Escocesa
«Cualquier cosa y todo lo que puedas comer de ella, siempre y cuando en todo momento se observe la siguiente proporción:
Un tercio de grasa
Un tercio de azúcar
Un tercio de alcohol
De vez en cuando puedes comer una pequeña cantidad de frutas, en jaleas o conservas, o mejor aún, destiladas.»

Antes de comenzar vacaciones demos un vistazo a la vida después de la muerte y veamos que nos espera a los glotones en el Tercer Círculo del Infierno, de donde ningún hígado ha regresado jamás.

Estos dos discos de carne congelada contienen queso procesado. Éste es el coracón de una hamburguesa con quesa frita escocesa. La carne tiene pequeños alveolos para que la masa se adhiera mejor.

Los escoceses han dejado de comer pan debido a su bajo contenido nutricional. En cambio, la hamburguesa se sumerge en una masa especialmente diseñada para absorver tanto aceite como sea posible, de acuerdo con los principios de la dieta escocesa.

Un alimento verdaderamente artesanal, luego la hamburguesa se mete con la mano en un tanque de aceite hirviendo ingeniosamente saborizado por el montón de pescados que ahí acabaron su vida.

La hamburguesa nada con los pescados un rato.

El chef de las hamburguesas con queso fritas que me permitió observar esto toma muy en serio la salud de sus clientes y cuidadosamente revisa que la temperatura interna de la carne sea suficientemente alta como para que sea seguro comerla.

La hamburguesa hace una última parada en la vitrina con otras especialildades fritas, esperando a un cliente.

Aquí la tienes - con el delicioso aceite de pescado escurriendo de la hamburquesa.

Crujiente por fuera y jugosa por dentro, ¿A quién le importa la comida lenta (slow food) una vez que has probado ésto?

En descargo: Amo a los escoceses y son un gran pueblo que ciertamente no merecen la comida que comen. Escocioa produce del mejor pescado y piezas de caza de Europa, desgraciadamente todo para exportación. Si acaso dudas de los méritos de la dieta escocesa en cuanto a incrementar la cuenta de muertes prematuras, por favor lee "Un reto para nosotros: La Dieta Escocesa - (Oficina Escocesa, 1993) - "A Challenge to us all: The Scottish Diet (Scottish Office 1993)" por el Secretario de Salud de Escocia. Directo de su propia boca.

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40 comentarios

#1
Comment by Joanna

You're right, the Scottish diet is one of extremes - some of the very best food you'll ever eat anywhere (think game, think smoked salmon, think of a large number of really first class restaurants and chefs), and some of the most disgusting stuff you'll ever taste (fried Mars bar, anyone?), plus a long queue outside every chippy (and not just on a Friday) ...GREAT photosJoanna

#2
Comment by Rodney

Unfortunately these Scottish fried items (especially the candy bars) are all too common over here in America. In the midwest we have state fairs where 75% of the food seems to be formulated under the concept of "what can we deep fry next."

#3
Comment by Peter

The tastiest dish you can enjoy in Scotland is Finnan Haddock -- whole fillets of haddock poached carefully in milk and then served with baps (large, rather flaccid bread rolls). It should eaten at around 5 p.m. -- time of the legendary "high tea" that makes sense given the bracing climate.

#4
Comment by LELE

I LIKE THE SCOTTISH BAND "THE JESUS AND MARY CHAIN"

#5
Comment by Sherri

I can't say much because we love Monte Christos. I only make them a few times a year though, and only 2 quarters for each of us 8^)

#6
Comment by Alvi

You are not only can cook but you also have a good sense of humour, François.. :) well done .

#7
Comment by Macha

I am surpised that a perfectionist like yourself doesn't mention the additional nutrients derived from the partially melted polystyrene plates. A respectable chef will make sure to dish the food-solution into a truly low-grade plastic tub so that the volatile solvents add a hint of extra-special flavour. To the locals it indicates freshness and no waste on expensive cutlery.

#8
Comment by Sergio Benitez

Another Scottish classic which could be featured is the Donner Kebab Calzone

#9
Answered by fx

I know! Please do send me pictures of some of the most original American deep-fried inventions you see and I'll gladly publish them here. Thanks.

#10
Comment by parshu.narayanan

For kilted bravehearts only. I'd rather stay focused on scotland's greatest export.cheers!

#11
Comment by cheese-burger.net

Can I reproduce these photos on my burger blog?

#12
Answered by fx

Yes but please put a link to the article on my blog. Happy Christmas!

#13
Comment by Angelo

ya' doon't sey...

#14
Comment by Melissa

I'm from Manitoba where we have a delicious local bread called bannock which was brought to our region by Scottish settlers at the beginning of the 19th century (Bannock = Gaelic for bread). The favorite way to eat bannock here is to deep fry it in lard and then smother it in butter and jam. It can also be used for pizza crust and is quite good when formed into rolls, fried and used for making hamburgers and the like. We Scots have been using dietary means to shorten life span for quite some time but aye its worth it.

#15
Answered by fx

Melissa, thanks for the tip on bannock, but would you have a good recipe for it? I'd sure want to try it at home.

#16
Comment by Dreseeral

I need a lot of info about lemon buttercream recipe. Were can I find more?

#17
Comment by tytus

My brother used to deep fry everything out of boredom, including whole hamburgers(bun fixings etc) which was not a success until he chopped the failed deepfried burgers into slices and added them to poutine, deepfried hamburger poutine as the special of the day, it unfortunately was a big success at the ski hill he worked at.

#18
Answered by fx

Tytus, from what you tell me your brother could be a Scot!

#19
Comment by don siranni

My only traceable Scottish background involves numerous visits there,and oh yes,a lifetime membership in "Friends of Laphroig". My reason for writing,do you have a grand recipe for "scotch" eggs? Maybe different to my normal method. Mine must be lacking true greatness,as I'm 73 years old. And I've demised many of these beauties. Don

#20
Answered by fx

Don thanks for visiting! Scotch eggs are not scottish but were invented by Fortnum and Mason in London in the 18th century. Never saw them in Scotland but I will try to find a good recipe for you.

#21
Comment by pbhj

Yum, this makes me feel hungry! Perhaps I have a death wish.Once you've polished this off you have to finish with a deep-fried Mars bar!

#22
Comment by EuroCuisineLady

FX, you have a lot to answer for. I made kaesespaetzli last night... there was a little left over... and after we made this, my husband took the remaining *spaetzli* and fried them. :)My arteries are complaining, but *I* thank you. :)

#23
Answered by fx

Pbhj, eat two of these and you won't have to worry about having enough cholesterol for the rest of your life.

#24
Comment by aptronym

Did you actually eat this? If you did, I think that you should be given an award (especially in light of the deep fried Mars Bar) for going above and beyond the call of duty in the name of gastronomy.

#25
Comment by Christy Lauzon

Are the burger pattys frozen when cooked? Is the batter a cheese batter? Do you have to dip them twice?

#26
Answered by fx

Aptronym, the things I did for this blog you have no idea! Actually I could not finish the deep-fried cheeseburger, but from the little I ate along with the rest in the shop, I was sick for the better part of the afternoon anyway!

#27
Answered by fx

Christy, the bruger is frozen when cooked and the batter is the same as for the fish. I don't cook this all that often (!) but only saw the guy dip it in once.

#28
Comment by Stephanie

Just a question..wondering what the batter is made of and doe you have to use frozen burgers or can you use fresh burger? Also do you freeze them two together with the cheese in the middle? Please help we want to make these just not real sure how

FX's answer→ Stephanie, they use frozen burgers because that's what restaurants do. How could they do different? Even Mc Donald's use frozen burgers. I am not sure how you could do this with fresh burgers, though.

#30
Comment by Stephanie

What is the batter made of?

FX's answer→ Stephanie, I'd rather not know what's inside, but generally batter is made of a little flour in milk or water. See my article "I like small fry" for more details.

#32
Comment by wade

what kind of batter is used for deep fried hamburgers, how long are they in the deep fryer, and do you need to prep. the burgers in any way such as a little grill time?

FX's answer→ Wade, I am not sure, but the cheeseburger was frozen and not precooked, you need to test internal temperature with a probe from time to time to verify.

#34
Comment by Haystacks

Why aren't the British all dead? I don't understand? Really, I just spent the last half hour reading about "traditional" British food. How did they colonize the world? I need a nap just from looking at this stuff.

FX's answer→ Oh but the British, for all their failings, did bring tea to the Indian and curry to the Japanese and the rest of the world. Sure, they don't eat all that well back home, but a smart and resilient people they are.

#36
Comment by c black

As a scot might I make another recommendation.

Deep fried jumbo haggis in batter. Not regular a regualr haggis supper the jumbo haggis is an entire haggis usually enough to feed 2 hungry people deep fried in batter. Magnificent.

These snacks also have an interesting side effect. If you eat a deep fried pizza supper you can drink alchohol heavily for the next 24hours and not get drunk. I once at a deep fried pizza supper before tackling a bottle of whisky, crate of beer and bottle of ruma and failed to get slightly drunk!

#37
Comment by Luke Wherry

Hey, I hope you don't mind, but we stole your photo, removed your watermark and added our own watermark so others wouldn't steal it from us. That way we can make money off of your photo! Thanks!