Der frittierte Cheeseburger

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Wir bewegen uns jetzt in den Grenzen der schottischen Ernährungsweise und betreten die Frittierhölle. Lasst ihr, die eintretet, alle Hoffnung fahren, und kommt, dieses neue Wunder zu erstaunen: den frittierten Cheeseburger.

Die schottische Ernährungsweise ist ein ausgeklügeltes System, das die Schotten erfunden haben um die Rentenkassen im Zaum zu halten indem sie die Anzahl der Über-60-Jährigen drastisch reduzieren. Wie die meisten großen Erfindungen (viele davon von den Schotten erfunden) ist es extrem einfach. Es erhöht die Zahl vorzeitiger Sterbefälle, indem es sich an diese einfache Maxime hält:

Die schottische Diät

"Essen kann jeder, wie's ihm gefällt,

wenn er sich an dies Verhältnis hält:

ein Drittel Fett
ein Drittel Zucker
ein Drittel Alkohol

Hin und wieder kann man eine geringe Menge Obst zu sich nehmen, am besten in Konserven- oder Marmeladenform - oder, noch besser: distilliert."

Bevor wir die Feriensaison starten, lass uns einen Blick vom nächsten Leben erhaschen und sehen, was uns Schlemmer im dritten Höllenkreis, aus dem keine Leber zurück gekehrt ist, erwartet.

Diese zwei Scheiben gefrorenen Fleisches enthalten Schmelzkäse. Das ist der Kern des schottischen frittierten Cheeseburgers. Das Fleisch hat keine Löcher, damit der Teig besser haftet.

Die Schotten haben Brötchen wegen ihres geringen Nährwerts abgeschworen. Stattdessen tünchen sie den Burger in einen Teig, der so gemacht wurde, dass soviel Fett wie möglich aufgesaugt wird - ganz konform den Prinzipien der Schottischen Diät.

Ein richtiges Künstleressen! Der Cheeseburger wird dann mit der Hand in einen Bottich mit kochendem Öl gehalten. Das Öl hat den Geschmack der vielen Fische angenommen, die hier ihr Leben beendet haben.

Der Burger schwimmt eine Weile mit den Fischen.

Dem Cheeseburger-Chef, der mich Zeuge dieses Geschehens sein ließ, geht die Gesundheit seiner Kunden ans Herz: Er hat sogar die Temperatur im Innern des Burgers gemessen, damit dieser sicher verzehrt werden kann.

Die letzte Haltestelle des Cheeseburgers ist jetzt das Fenster an der Theke, wo er mit anderen frittierten Spezialitäten darauf wartet, von einem Kunden gekauft zu werden.

Hier ist der Burger. Das Fischfett tropft immer noch hinunter.

Knusprig von außen, saftig von innen: Wer denkt bei einem solchen Bild für die Götter noch an die negativen Auswirkungen des Fast Food?

Disclaimer: Ich liebe die Schotten - sie sind ein großartiges Volk, das sicher nicht das Essen verdient hat, das es täglich isst. Schottland ist einer der besten Fisch- und Wildproduzenten - aber alles geht leider in den Export. Wer nicht von der Schottischen Diät als Mittel um die Zahl vorzeitiger Sterbefälle zu erhöhen überzeugt ist, sollte dieses Buch lesen: "A Challenge to us all: The Scottish Diet (Scottish Office 1993)" Geschrieben wurde das Buch vom schottischen Surgeon General, also direkt von der Quelle.

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40 Kommentare

#1
Von: Joanna

You're right, the Scottish diet is one of extremes - some of the very best food you'll ever eat anywhere (think game, think smoked salmon, think of a large number of really first class restaurants and chefs), and some of the most disgusting stuff you'll ever taste (fried Mars bar, anyone?), plus a long queue outside every chippy (and not just on a Friday) ...GREAT photosJoanna

#2
Von: Rodney

Unfortunately these Scottish fried items (especially the candy bars) are all too common over here in America. In the midwest we have state fairs where 75% of the food seems to be formulated under the concept of "what can we deep fry next."

#3
Von: Peter

The tastiest dish you can enjoy in Scotland is Finnan Haddock -- whole fillets of haddock poached carefully in milk and then served with baps (large, rather flaccid bread rolls). It should eaten at around 5 p.m. -- time of the legendary "high tea" that makes sense given the bracing climate.

#4
Von: LELE

I LIKE THE SCOTTISH BAND "THE JESUS AND MARY CHAIN"

#5
Von: Sherri

I can't say much because we love Monte Christos. I only make them a few times a year though, and only 2 quarters for each of us 8^)

#6
Von: Alvi

You are not only can cook but you also have a good sense of humour, François.. :) well done .

#7
Von: Macha

I am surpised that a perfectionist like yourself doesn't mention the additional nutrients derived from the partially melted polystyrene plates. A respectable chef will make sure to dish the food-solution into a truly low-grade plastic tub so that the volatile solvents add a hint of extra-special flavour. To the locals it indicates freshness and no waste on expensive cutlery.

#8
Von: Sergio Benitez

Another Scottish classic which could be featured is the Donner Kebab Calzone

#9
Beantworted von fx

I know! Please do send me pictures of some of the most original American deep-fried inventions you see and I'll gladly publish them here. Thanks.

#10
Von: parshu.narayanan

For kilted bravehearts only. I'd rather stay focused on scotland's greatest export.cheers!

#11
Von: cheese-burger.net

Can I reproduce these photos on my burger blog?

#12
Beantworted von fx

Yes but please put a link to the article on my blog. Happy Christmas!

#13
Von: Angelo

ya' doon't sey...

#14
Von: Melissa

I'm from Manitoba where we have a delicious local bread called bannock which was brought to our region by Scottish settlers at the beginning of the 19th century (Bannock = Gaelic for bread). The favorite way to eat bannock here is to deep fry it in lard and then smother it in butter and jam. It can also be used for pizza crust and is quite good when formed into rolls, fried and used for making hamburgers and the like. We Scots have been using dietary means to shorten life span for quite some time but aye its worth it.

#15
Beantworted von fx

Melissa, thanks for the tip on bannock, but would you have a good recipe for it? I'd sure want to try it at home.

#16
Von: Dreseeral

I need a lot of info about lemon buttercream recipe. Were can I find more?

#17
Von: tytus

My brother used to deep fry everything out of boredom, including whole hamburgers(bun fixings etc) which was not a success until he chopped the failed deepfried burgers into slices and added them to poutine, deepfried hamburger poutine as the special of the day, it unfortunately was a big success at the ski hill he worked at.

#18
Beantworted von fx

Tytus, from what you tell me your brother could be a Scot!

#19
Von: don siranni

My only traceable Scottish background involves numerous visits there,and oh yes,a lifetime membership in "Friends of Laphroig". My reason for writing,do you have a grand recipe for "scotch" eggs? Maybe different to my normal method. Mine must be lacking true greatness,as I'm 73 years old. And I've demised many of these beauties. Don

#20
Beantworted von fx

Don thanks for visiting! Scotch eggs are not scottish but were invented by Fortnum and Mason in London in the 18th century. Never saw them in Scotland but I will try to find a good recipe for you.

#21
Von: pbhj

Yum, this makes me feel hungry! Perhaps I have a death wish.Once you've polished this off you have to finish with a deep-fried Mars bar!

#22
Von: EuroCuisineLady

FX, you have a lot to answer for. I made kaesespaetzli last night... there was a little left over... and after we made this, my husband took the remaining *spaetzli* and fried them. :)My arteries are complaining, but *I* thank you. :)

#23
Beantworted von fx

Pbhj, eat two of these and you won't have to worry about having enough cholesterol for the rest of your life.

#24
Von: aptronym

Did you actually eat this? If you did, I think that you should be given an award (especially in light of the deep fried Mars Bar) for going above and beyond the call of duty in the name of gastronomy.

#25
Von: Christy Lauzon

Are the burger pattys frozen when cooked? Is the batter a cheese batter? Do you have to dip them twice?

#26
Beantworted von fx

Aptronym, the things I did for this blog you have no idea! Actually I could not finish the deep-fried cheeseburger, but from the little I ate along with the rest in the shop, I was sick for the better part of the afternoon anyway!

#27
Beantworted von fx

Christy, the bruger is frozen when cooked and the batter is the same as for the fish. I don't cook this all that often (!) but only saw the guy dip it in once.

#28
Von: Stephanie

Just a question..wondering what the batter is made of and doe you have to use frozen burgers or can you use fresh burger? Also do you freeze them two together with the cheese in the middle? Please help we want to make these just not real sure how

FX's answer→ Stephanie, they use frozen burgers because that's what restaurants do. How could they do different? Even Mc Donald's use frozen burgers. I am not sure how you could do this with fresh burgers, though.

#30
Von: Stephanie

What is the batter made of?

FX's answer→ Stephanie, I'd rather not know what's inside, but generally batter is made of a little flour in milk or water. See my article "I like small fry" for more details.

#32
Von: wade

what kind of batter is used for deep fried hamburgers, how long are they in the deep fryer, and do you need to prep. the burgers in any way such as a little grill time?

FX's answer→ Wade, I am not sure, but the cheeseburger was frozen and not precooked, you need to test internal temperature with a probe from time to time to verify.

#34
Von: Haystacks

Why aren't the British all dead? I don't understand? Really, I just spent the last half hour reading about "traditional" British food. How did they colonize the world? I need a nap just from looking at this stuff.

FX's answer→ Oh but the British, for all their failings, did bring tea to the Indian and curry to the Japanese and the rest of the world. Sure, they don't eat all that well back home, but a smart and resilient people they are.

#36
Von: c black

As a scot might I make another recommendation.

Deep fried jumbo haggis in batter. Not regular a regualr haggis supper the jumbo haggis is an entire haggis usually enough to feed 2 hungry people deep fried in batter. Magnificent.

These snacks also have an interesting side effect. If you eat a deep fried pizza supper you can drink alchohol heavily for the next 24hours and not get drunk. I once at a deep fried pizza supper before tackling a bottle of whisky, crate of beer and bottle of ruma and failed to get slightly drunk!

#37
Von: Luke Wherry

Hey, I hope you don't mind, but we stole your photo, removed your watermark and added our own watermark so others wouldn't steal it from us. That way we can make money off of your photo! Thanks!

#38
Von: robin

Deep fried ice cream..I think the japanese top the scottish in this discipline

FX's answer→ Ah yes but we Swiss do deep fried fondue, see on my blog!

#40
Von: Beverly Montgomery

Do you have the recipe for the batter for the deep fried burgers

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